Time pass ....

This section consists of some of the finest collection of short stories or articles I collected from the web. Watch out for unexpected surprises !!!

DEVELOPERS VS TESTERS

QA Tester : Roshan D'Mello 

Developer : Mukesh Thakur

Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep sound 

should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.

After 2 days,
Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.

After another 2 days,
Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in
some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry is not getting the sound.

After another 2 days,
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use head phones and then get the bug closed soon.

Another 2 days,
Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound as 'TONG'

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do you expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them uniform? Please close it.

Another 2 days,
Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all machines..

Another 2 days later,
Mukesh Thakur : Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both the machines before I get mad and then close the bug.

Another 2 days,
Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug. Mukesh Thakur : What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for re-opening? Roshan D'Mello: Sound intensity is different for machines placed at different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.

After 2 days,
Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.

After 1 year,
Roshan D'Mello : I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested the clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because of background noice.

Roshan D'Mello : No need for that. We will put the machines and run them in vacuum and see.

Mukesh Thakur: ??

Result-----------------------
He is now in mental asylum while Roshan D’Mello has become QA Manager.

MY APPRAISAL !!!

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.

Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed....

My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter...hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... Splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "Wake up man! Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

THE TALE OF A DATE

She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Nivedita, a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.

It’s been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadn’t spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.

It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake.

I didn’t know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.

From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.

Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Nivedita and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.

I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek, but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.

Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born.

I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I haven’t been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times ‘Something is better than nothing!’ and I made up my mind to do ‘something’.

I fixed today to be the ‘DATE’ for throwing open in front of her the ‘TALE’ of my pure love for her. I don’t know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.

Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg…

My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My ‘UKG’ classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.

I hope my ‘MOTHER’ Nivedita will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal ‘BROTHER’ Vivek.

See ya after a break!!!

THINK DIFFERENT !!!

Some time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score.

The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected. I read the examination question: "SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE AID OF A BAROMETER." The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building." The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly! On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try. I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything.

I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on. In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch. Then, using the formula x=0.5*a*t^^2, calculate the height of the building." At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded, and gave the student almost full credit. While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem, so I asked him what they were.

"Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you  could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building, and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building." "Fine," I said, "and others?"

"Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units." "A very direct method." "Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g at the steet level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building, in principle, can be calculated." "On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession". "Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem. Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: 'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer." At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think.

The student was Neils Bohr (guru of quantum theory in physics & mechanics, hydrogen atom) and the arbiter Rutherford.